Isn't It Funny?!

Isn't it funny?
That you have your daily bread, without fail
Sometimes even spoilt for choice
But you take it so much for granted that you fail to recognize it as a blessing
Until you see a beggar on the street
Begging for a few crumbs just to make it through the day.
Isn't it funny?

... that you go to sleep every night under a roof
Warm or cool, depending on the weather
You change the airconditioner to your desired temperature
As you sit nicely in the comfort of your room
Yet you have more complaints than the street kid on a ditch

Isn't it funny?
How you always want more out of life
That you always fail to appreciate the little things that makes it all worthwhile
Always seeking a little bit of this, a little more of that
Confusing your wants with needs
Your huge superfluous appetite for more of everything blinding you to the simplest most valuable treasures you possess.
Yes, it is indeed funny and ironic,
That in our bid for the pursuit of happiness
We end up rather sad, empty, depressed and miserable.
Oh boy, isn't life just funny!

Awake!

I lie in bed in the wee hours of the night, awake.
Cosied up, all fuzzy and warm, my wavering mind takes me from pillar to post
Oh how I hate to still be tossing and turning at this hour
Are these not the crunch times for witches and ghosts?
And yet here I am, still awake.

I lazily gaze at the clock to catch a glimpse of the time as it flies by
Worried if I will ever fall asleep and squeeze in one or two sweet dreams
As it is way past the midnight hour and I am still awake.

As I give in to my insomnia, I begin to appreciate the beautiful things that come with night time
The calmness and stillness of the world
The silence that cuts deeply into the heart
With every little sound clearer than normal
A little snore here, the tick of a clock there, some barkings of dogs out there and even more louder, the thoughts in my mind
And at this moment I no longer despise being awake.

As I lie in my bed, unable to sleep I realize that I want to be awake
No, I desperately need to be awake
And as much as I love the night with all its splendor...
The glistening stars in the sky
The peaceful and calming factor of the night
And the still quietness that allows for pure undisturbed rest...
I would love even more to be awake
Awake to a world of endless opportunities that awaits me
Awake to God's faithfulness
Awake to life and all its beauty
Awake to the realization that sometimes sleep just doesn't come and you shouldn't lose sleep over it
And so, night came and passed, and I stayed awake!

A Tired Mom Free Day!

Ever since I gave birth to my beautiful, super hyper 16 month old daughter, I can safely describe myself in two words: tired mom. It hasn't been an easy road and I don't see it getting any easier contrary to what other people told me some 15 months back. e.g ''Don't worry it gets easier after 3 months''. ''After 6 months she will sleep more and you will have plenty of time to rest'', ''At-least she will start walking soon and be independent'' etcetera etcetera... I am telling you I have heard it all. Perhaps they were just trying to make me feel better, or maybe they just needed to meet my daughter first in order to understand what I was on about, I really don't know. Because to be honest, 16 months later, I am still tired and it doesn't look like its going to get better anytime soon.

But today, just today, I am going to ''escape'' from the ''tired mom world''. I am going to sit here and believe that back at home everything is under control. I am going to have a worry-less day so that I free myself from not only the physical but emotional exhaustion too. I am going to assume that my daughter will wake up and hubby will serve her porridge, at the right temperature, not too hot, not too cold. I am going to believe that even when she says ''no'' and be all dramatic like she usually is, hubby will not let her get away with it but at-least make her eat half her food.

Today I am going to believe that my husband wont accidentally swear in front of the baby, because these days she has a tendency of repeating everything she hears. I am going to believe that he will notice when the baby needs a diaper change and when the baby has pooped, he will handle it nicely without messing the sheets. 

Today I am going to hope that when my baby cries uncontrollably for her daddy's ice cold fizzy drink he would nicely decline and give her warm milk instead, rather than just give her some sips simply because she is crying for the ice cold beverage so ''she must really want it, its just a few sips anyway'' like he would normally say. I am going to sit here and hope that my next nanny will be nothing less than heaven sent, and that she is actually coming today!

And when I get home I am going to undo my hair, take out these long heavy braids, so that my head is literally lighter, not only because of the ''thoughts-free'' ''worry-less'' day I have had. And I am going to take a long hot relaxing bath with mood altering bath salts. And when my daughter cries while I am in the middle of taking my bath, I am not going to rush quickly out of the bath to go see whats wrong, I am going to wholeheartedly believe that she is throwing one of her famous tantrums because of something small like her teddy bear not responding to her...... uhm....commands.

Today I am not going to worry about whats for dinner, whether my baby has had her last meal of the day or taken her flu medicine, I sincerely believe that my lovely hubby has that all covered. So I am going to sleep in early.

Yes today, just today, I will ''escape'' the tired mom world. And as I go to sleep at night, feeling a bit more relaxed, worry-less, still more madly in love with my daughter, I will hope and believe that tomorrow when its all said and done and its back to the real mommy world, I will feel more revitalized, energised and ready to put on my supermom vest back on. And hopefully finally find the strength and confidence to say to my unborn child: ''Mommy is ready for you soldier!''

Something for my Darling L

I wanted to write you something poetic
With a couple of rhymes and a little rhythm and melody
Something sweet to the ear
Just to let you know how I feel about you
But I wouldn't be doing myself any justice if i tried
Coz that shit aint for me, I aint good at it
So I settled for something that might be sweet to the heart atleast
To simply describe my love for you
Though we know fully well there is nothing simple about love
Its a mixture of complicated emotions
Pain and joy and many others included
Its true though that when I first saw you
Neither pain nor joy did I feel
Rather I felt something else in my stomach
A little bit of rumble and tumble, some funny sounds!
Something I feel most when I'm nervous
You had a mini afro, uncombed, a lil messy
Certainly not dressed to impress
Yet there was certainly something about you
Something about the way you talked
That captivating voice that got me so mesmerized
The way you laughed at the not so funny jokes you made to atleast keep the conversation alive
The effort you put to try be nice and make me laugh
I didn't know for sure what that was all about
What I did know though was that I felt something for you my darling L.
Now almost a decade later, and we at it again
After trying once before, I trust that we cant fail twice
For I know that what I feel is something so real, a feeling so profound.
This time this feeling is a bit more stronger, a ton more mature.
And with every breath I take, every beat of my heart, every fibre of my being and every waking moment
I know for sure that this something I feel for you is nothing but LOVE!

Dear Lord

I wanna thank you for the gift of life, thank you for the roof over my head, for the warm clothes and warm blankets in this terrible cold. Thank you for my daily bread. Thank you for the opportunity to have been able to go to school, for the jobs that iv landed. Thank you for i can afford to sustain myself. Thank you for my loving family, my mother who has seen me through it all and my forever supportive siblings. Thank you for my awesome cousins and relatives and the friends who are like family. Thank you for my partner who is also my best friend and my rock. I know I always complain and fail to see all that I have and rather focus on what i don't have. But at the end of the day, when the tears have all dried up, the complaints are tired and useless, and my thoughts aren't that shallow and I'm forced to think deeper, I realise that I have more than enough to be grateful for. So thank you dear Lord for everything you do for me. You are worthy to be praised.

The Ultimate Commentator- Zebras Vs Bafana Bafana game!

The Mighty Zebras went against S.A's Bafana Bafana on what was termed a very crucial game. Both teams had both performed poorly in their first world cup qualifier games and both came into this match with a determination to rise above their previous defeats and get back on the competition. Zebras had played against Central African Republic (CAR) the weekend before their encounter with S.A. Funny enough, the Zebras Vs CAR game which should have caused a lot of noise and excitement as it was the first qualifier game was rather surprisingly on the low down. Some people did not even know about it. The media did not make any fuss about it. It was not aired on BTV and I myself got to know the score on Monday- two days after the game!!

 The Zebras Vs Bafana game on the other hand was the talk of town. People started wearing the Zebras jerseys a week prior to the game. The Zebras flags and mirror covers were pulled out from wherever they had been stashed and put to use. The station and the mall stallls were once again colourful with Zebras merchandise on sale. Each and every radio sation, newspaper and social media went on about this Zebras/Bafana game. And yes, BTV aired the game, it just had to!!

On this day of the game,as me and my cousins were helping out at a family meeting, all we could think about was the game. Where we were gonna watch it? Who is going to win?    Why Mogogi likes ditching us. South Africa not having a coach.....! The conversations went on and on while we kept looking at the time and hoping that the meeting could just end so that we could hit the road. A few minutes past 2 and we were off! After too much confusion and hesitation, O'hagans, we decided, was where we were gonna watch the game. The game began just as we entered Mogoditshane. My cousin had to step on it! Time was definitely not on our side. Just as we reached the Game City circle, Bafana scored. I felt my heart sinking. Right there and then we wanted to turn around with the circle and go back home. After all, it was a very chilly Saturday and the idea of a warm bed was not really unattractive. Yep!! Talk about a Motswana not being too loyal huh?! But no, we decided to just go ahead and go watch the game. O'hagans was packed. All tables were taken. The waiter, who was more interested in the game than us just told us that there were no seats and did not even bother to look for chairs for us, so we just stood up, not for long though. Soon we found chairs. No tables, just chairs, but it was alright. The game looked promising. My guys were on form! They weren't the Zebras who easily got demoralized after a goal and just give in and let more and more goals go in. This time, they were really fighting.

So on my right there was a table with two South Africans on it. As Zebras kept fighting and fighting I could not help but notice the other South African guy's discomfort. He wasn't too happy with the way his team was playing. As we scored our first goal for this competition. you would've sworn that this guy had just shed a tear or two. His eyes were red, his heart was so broken. As the rest of O'hagans jumped and screamed and sang with joy, his annoyance grew immensely. I could not help but laugh out loud. Our joy annoyed him while his annoyance brought me joy. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate S.A nor do i hate South Africans. This is the same country that I have stayed and studied at, got my matric and degree certificates from. I have self made families there who have seen me through a lot and I love them to death. However, truth be told, the rivalry between these two countries is quite evident. South Africans came to this game with the believe that they have won already.They undermined us, and its quite funny because the week before this game they had drew with Ethiopia, a team that's rated well below the Zebras, but clearly they did not learn anything from that experience..! That this is football and anything can happen!! And as they went home, their hearts broken and bleeding as if they had been defeated, we at home continued celebrating as if we had come out victorious. Hmm-mm, u just gotta love football!!!  

Fading Dreams!

As I sit on my single bed in my tiny room late at night, wanting to sleep but sleep just wouldn't come, I'm left without a choice but to analyse my thoughts which I had been trying so hard to block in order to avoid depression, but sadly could not succeed. They rush in uncontrollably, as if to explode my mind. I try focus my brain to only the positives, think of something good or funny that might have happened lately, then force a tiny smile. Its successful, but only for a split second, unfortunately I can't lie to my brain. The negatives certainly offsets the positives. They are much more heavier. They always get me!! So I give in and take on the thoughts face on....! 'Month end already here- FINANCES!!! Hmmm, how do I split this flipping allowance? Oh, hold on, better yet, what do I need to do in order to get a PAYING JOB?!! Could there be something wrong with my CV/ layout? Is there something I'm not doing right?'........'Those thiefs must be working with these flipping useless police officers'.....'Gosh I cant afford this.... and that'....'Can this internship thing just end already? It really sucks and its depressing.' e.t.c, e.t.c. At this very moment I realize I'm close to giving up. My childhood dreams of becoming a successful business woman seem to be fading away. My thoughts jump from successful business lady to just getting a job ATLEAST, and finally to housewife.( How sad?!) Is this where I'm headed?! Its all just a blur. And as I switch off the lights, I hope and pray that tomorrow when I wake up and switch them back on, the light will resemble nothing but a brighter day!